YOU KNOW YOU’RE ON HOLIDAYS WHEN

You know you are on holidays when ... 

You reserve a compact hire-car and the only car left is a huge one, a challenge to navigate through the narrow country lanes in England. 

You order a red sangria and a white sangria in Seville, Spain and you’re given two red sangrias and a glass of white wine.

The plane aborts the first two landings in Catania, Sicily and thankfully touches down on the third.   

You set the password for the room safe in Catania and then can’t open it to retrieve your passports.

You take photographs at an event inside a cathedral in Catania, Sicily and suddenly realise it’s a funeral.  

You discover your accommodation in Catania is next door a cannabis retailer.  

A proud manager gives you a free private tour of the Opera House in Catania during performance preparations.   

You have to yell “HELP” for someone to rescue you in Milazzo, Sicily because the toilet door won’t open.  Don’t want to miss that hydrofoil.  

You arrive in Rome at midnight take a wrong turn walking to the airport hotel and add a kilometer to the journey.

You’re addressed as “Bella Bronzati!” and asked “Are you from Africa?” by an African street trader in Rome. 

You leave the washing machine on in your apartment in Rome and when you return you find the vibration from the spin cycle has made it creep to the other side of the bathroom. 

You are woken at dawn in Rome each morning by the rooster kept on the rooftop of the apartment opposite. 

You’re thankful that the worst protests in the country since the 1960’s are on the other side of the harbour in Hong Kong. 

You see “Fried Intestines!” on the menu in Kowloon.  

You ask for a serviette in a back street dumpling house in Kowloon and the owner unwinds paper from a toilet roll.  

The main ingredient in your dinner in Kowloon is Fish Balls.  

You see the first rays of the sun appear on a farm in Corsham England, feel the beat of life in Seville Spain, witness the wild flowers high up on Vulcano Italy, watch the moon reflect in the Tyrrhenian Sea and share smiles in the eyes of the people that gave us joy.