A CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE TO FOLLOW IF YOU DARE 25/25

Here is a last minute recipe for a Christmas Cake you might like to follow if you dare ... Merry Christmas!

Best –Ever Quick Christmas Cake Recipe.

1bottle good quality Spanish Brandy
350g Butter
4 large Eggs
500g almonds
500g flour
2 cups mixed dried fruit
1tsp treacle or molasses
1 cup white sugar
200g Demerara sugar
Juice of 1 Lemon
1tsp mixed spice

Method

1. Sample the brandy to check quality.  Take a large bowl, check brandy again. Sniff it suspiciously and, to make sure that it is of the highest quality, pour one large measure and drink.  Repeat.

2. Turn on electric mixer.  Beat the butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add the sugar, beat again.  At thish point it’s best to make sure the brandy is shrill OK.  Phwee.  Try another cop -, jussin case.

3. Turn off the mixerer

4. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cupla dried fruit.  Pick dried fruit off the floor. Hic.

5. Mix on the turner.  If the druid fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriber.

6. Sample the brandy to check for tonsisity.  Next sift the flour, or salt, ot something.  Who shives a git?

7. Check the brandy for body.  Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuits.  Add one table.

8. Adda spoona sugar, make medicine go down.  Whatever.  Grease oven, slosh in fridge.  Turn cake tin 360°, hold on to floor for balance.

9. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

10. Finally, throw the bowl out on to the patio, finish brandy and cat up the pick.  Fall into bed.  

Cherry Mistmas!